hello lovely people. i am rachael, 18. i live in scotland. i have been battling depression & suicidal/self harm urges from the age of 7 and anorexia & ocd from 13. this is my space where no one in 'the real world' knows me. i have been in inpatient since june 2009 in 3 different hospitals with only about 5 weeks in total out. i need to start living. the time is now. *here to support anyone who needs it. my ask box is always open!* if you every want me to look at one of your posts i follow the tag 'effyoued' <3 snail mail? my hospital address is: Rachael Temple-Simpson- REDU: Lower Ground Floor- St Johns Hospital- Howden Rd West- Livingston- West Lothian- EH54 6PP. there are
 I did a challenge it wasnt huge but it was for me, it was a green juice all natural just fruit :) ahhhh! liquid calories!!!! i did it for you because you gave me strenght xxx |
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eeeeeeeeeee! i am so so so sooooooo proud of you for challenging your ED! keep kicking it in the balls >:D |
| Posted on May 21 with 1 note | Reblog |
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I just went to the doctor today (which absolutely drained me and I almost passed out three times) and I weigh 123.3 which is down 6lbs in a few weeks...I don't feel like I'm small enough...but I keep getting so sick...I don't know what to do... |
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you are sick. very sick. its not about weight. its about the thoughts, its about how your body is reacting physically. your body is crying out to feed it, to take care of it. please, please, you need to recover <3 |
| Posted on May 21 | Reblog |
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I don't understand how you lost so much weight when you were really ill :( I eat nothing and I'm stuck at the same weight. I feel useless. |
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losing that much weight is nothing to aspire to. i was miserable. at the beginning i couldnt even move my fingers, i was hours away from death if i hadnt gotten help, my life was on the line. i was catheterises, on a 24hr feed, had 3 drips, a ‘huggie bear’ (heats IV fluids and blanket that blows out hot air to increase temp), a special moving mattress, a heart monitor and blood pressure. it was hell, 4 weeks of hell on a HDU. i could feel myself dying and i smelled like rotting flesh. i was stuck, my bones hurting so much from not being able to physically move. i cold barely speak. i was alone.being fed. unable to move to do anything about it. i didnt try to lose weight. it wasnt my intention. anorexia tricked me into thinking i was doing well. i look back and i wasnt eating alot…. you cant be eating nothing and not losing weight. you shouldnt be eating nothing. you shouldnt be trying to lose weight. losing weight does not define your worth. you need to recovery, you need to eat, your life can have meaning, you are not useless <3 |
| Posted on May 21 with 1 note | Reblog |
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Have you heard anything from ayearofcourage? What happened to her tumblr? |
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im sorry i havent :( comment on this if you have please <3 |
| Posted on May 21 with 1 note | Reblog |
how do people eat normally
like just think “oh i’m hungry now” eat what they want
and stop when they’re full
like lol wut
| Posted on May 21 with 135 notes | Reblog |
(Source: con-affetto-kiko)
| Posted on May 20 with 5,274 notes | Reblog |
Britain=Scotland, Wales and England
the UK=Northern Ireland, Wales, Scotland and England
England is not the same as Britain, England is in Britain
Scotland is not the same as Britain, Scotland is in Britain
Ireland=all of Ireland, ROI and NI
NI=in the UK
ROI=not in the UK
Scotland is not the same as England
a British accent does not exist there are far to many accents across Britain to be classed as one British accent.
its really simple to get right guys come on
| Posted on May 20 with 18 notes | Reblog |
| Posted on May 20 with 10,423 notes | Reblog |
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I was wondering if you could clarify if I've eaten enough today? My ED mind says 'TOO MUCH' whereas my realistic mind says 'hmm..' Anyways, if this is triggering then you don't need to answer! A cinnamon raisin bagel with 1tsp of grape jam, a waitrose 'good for you' sunblush tomato and toast vegetable couscous pot, a small microwave pizza, a peach danio and a bar of bourneville.. And 3 boiled sweets... Thank you for your opinion |
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:(( no hun, this is far too little, i hope you can try and eat more <3 |
| Posted on May 20 | Reblog |
No, it’s fine. I didn’t need my heart.
Are we crying about a doodle of dinosaurs?
Yes
Welcome to Tumblr
Oh god it hurts why would you ever
The meteor was coming.
Oh, God, it was coming and she didn’t know what to do. Her son, her beautiful little son, pressed close to her side, craning his neck to look up at his Mother.
“Mummy, why is everyone moving? There’s plenty of food here.” He asked in his sweet, innocent voice.
“Because, my sweet, sometimes it is best that we move on. It is our way.” She replied, forcing the words past the lump in her throat.
“Oh,” Her son said, turning his gaze to the fiery rock in the sky that would spell their deaths out for them, “the old Triceratops told me it was cuzza that rock. He said the rock could hurt us real bad.” He continued, not understanding what he meant by those words in his innocence.
“Triceratops is being silly, he just wanted to tease you one more time before he left.” She lied, choking on her tears. Oh, God, he son, her lovely son, was going to die not understanding.
“Oh.”
She turned her face to the meteor- it was close now. It wouldn’t be long. Swinging her head around, she dropped her face to her sons and nuzzled him one last time. “Let’s play a game, yes? And then we’ll go join the others.” She suggested.
“Okay! What game shall we play, Mummy?”
“Let’s play pretend. We will imagine the sort of place we would like to move to, and when we open our eyes, that’s where we shall be.”
“How do we play?”
One last look at the meteor- it was almost time.
“Close your eyes and imagine the place, and count to thirty out loud. Just like when we play Hide-and-Seek.” She curled herself around her son, both of them now laid on the beach.
“Ok, Mummy. 1, 2, 3, 4…”
She watched the meteor approach with sad eyes, and just before it hit land she turned her head, laying it and her neck over her son and bracing herself.
Her son had not yet said 30, but it was over.
what is wrong with you
WOW THANKS FOR SHITTING ALL OVER MY HEART
| Posted on May 20 with 302,750 notes | Reblog |
Dear Yahoo,
If you would like Tumblr users to like you, remove the post limit and word limit on messages.
If you place ads on our dash or charge for use every month, there will be a war. You have an army. We have a hulk.
Regards
Tumblr Users
| Posted on May 20 with 44,467 notes | Reblog |
| Posted on May 20 with 53,796 notes | Reblog |
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I admire your strength and motivation! You are a person I respect so much and really do look up to. |
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*blubbers* so touching! i love you :3 |
| Posted on May 20 with 1 note | Reblog |
Why I choose recovery :) Seeing Rachael’s last post, I looked through some of my old posts and it’s helped me see just now far I’ve come.
The girl on the right (top and bottom), from around 5/6 months ago, looks apprehensive, scared, lost, eyes scarily big! She is smiling but inside she is hurting so much. In the top photo she is holding a pecan pie nakd bar (posted to tumblr) but she would only eat half of it. In the other one she’s doing the ‘smile to show I’m okay’… her eyes couldn’t have looked more dead :(
Girl on the left, two photos from the last month! She is still apprehensive, but more excited for the future that lies ahead. Her skin is healthier, she is smiling on the inside. She still hasn’t fully found herself, but her eyes are not as lost, or fearful. They are hopeful. She has just finished eating a lovely snack that was nearly double the calories of what that bar would have been and doesn’t care about that! It also included chocolate!
This girl is Sophie. The other girl is a shadow. I never want to be a shadow again; I want to live. That’s why I choose recovery :)
i am so so proud of your progress beautiful sophie <3 onwards & upwards <3 xxx
| Posted on May 20 with 56 notes | Reblog |
The notes. You don’t belong here if you don’t reblog this. THE NOTES!
(Source: charizzaaa)
| Posted on May 20 with 14,489,254 notes | Reblog |
